The Griffin Files: Invader Griff?!
by Myst Runner
Summary: Zim and Gir are in the lab. Gir messes with a machine. Me and Griff are in the Hammerspace Happenens Bar And Grill, and Griff suddenly disapears. Compleat insanety ensues.
1. Invader Griff?!

I was sitting at home and the basic plot line for this story popped into my head. In this story Gir is a little bit out of it. And my muse is always like this so no difference there. Poor Zim will have to cope with his own idiotic SIR and my idiotic griffin muse. Disclaimer: I dun own Invader Zim. Kellie created subreality www.subreality.com/sc . All I own is the Hammerspace Happenens Bar And Grill, and my incredibly stupid muse Griff. SMS means Stupid Muse Syndrome. Every body please check out Gir.n3.net and sign the petition to bring Zim back. All Hail The Mighty Invader Zim. ~*~*~*~*~ The Griffin Files Chapter 1: Invader Griff?! ~*~*~*~*~*~ It was an oh so normal day; as far as Zim was concerned. He was down in his lab trying to figure out his latest scheme on how to bring doom upon the planet earth. Gir on the other hand was bouncing around the lab chattering his head off. "Oh oh oh oh and I saw a squirrel." Zim was pretty much ignoring Gir; as he tended to do a lot now a days. ~At that exact moment in subreality~ A young black panther were, named Myst Runner, was sitting at her bar, conveniently called Hammerspace Happenens Bar and Grill, downing a Guiness and wanting to strangle her griffin muse Griff. Who was also bouncing around the bar chattering her writer to death. "Oh oh oh oh and I saw a squirrel..." She was muttering at her Guiness hoping it would have some answers. "Why do I suffer from SMS? I can't kill her cuz the SCPD would have my hide. I already allow any one into my bar and buy drinks, even if they are underage. I run a Casino without a permit and no age limit either. How could I get her to go away?" ~Back on earth~ Zim remembered that new machine he built. Maybe he could us that to bring doom upon all the worm babies on this wretched planet. Sadly enough he had no clue as to what the machine would do when he turned it on. "Maybe this machine will bring doom upon all of the wretched worm babies on this wretched doomed planet." Zim muttered to himself darkly. ~Three hours later on earth~ "Why won't this stupid machine work? GIR DID YOU DO SOMETHING TO IT." "I dooon't knoooooow." (òô) "Gir how many times do I have to tell you. DON'T PLAY AROUND IN MY LAB! Stupid machine." Zim walks away and Gir just watches wondering why his master yelled at him all the time and was never nice to him. Gir held up Piggy and looked at the toy. "I wish I had a friend Piggy." Gir then looked over at the machine that Zim had gotten mad at cause he didn't know how to work it. Maybe he cold get it to work and master would be kind to him. Gir wondered over to the abandoned machine and studied it carefully. On the console was a large blue button labeled, Don't Touch. Gir ignored the warning and proceeded to push the button. "Oh what's this do!" Gir said excitedly. ~Hammerspace Happenens~ Myst was watching her muse fly around the bar (Hey this bar is huge I have to be able to accommodate dragons after all). Amazingly she hadn't crashed into anything. Yet. Griff had a tendency to be magnetically attracted to stuff when she flew. Be it doors, pillars, walls, cliffs, water, other flying creatures, mountains, the ground, and including many other countless items. Myst took another long draw at her pint and continued to watch Griff. All of a sudden Griff disappeared. She just kinda winked out of existence while she was flying. The pint slipped out of Myst's numbed paw and clattered to the ground. Myst was staring at the spot in the air where her muse had been just moments ago. Drop jawed, bug eyed, and drooling she realized that she was in some deep shit from both the Head Muse of Subreality and the SCPD (Subreality Central Police Department) "Oh shit." ~Back on earth~ Gir continued to stare at the machine after he had pushed the button. Zim turned around and saw Gir in front of the wretched machine. "Gir get away from their before you." Zim was cut off because of a medium sized white tiger striped griffin had all of a sudden appeared out of nowhere and landed on him. Gir had turned around when he heard Zim yell at him and watched as the griffin fell out of the sky and landed on him. "Master?" Gir wondered over to the knocked out griffin. "Master, are you okay." Gir looked at the griffin and then reconsidered if his master was okay. Zim finally managed to get his head out from underneath the griffin. "Gir. Help. Me." Zim looked worse for wear and also amazingly still being alive after a griffin had landed on him. Gir noticed his master's head poke out from under the griffin. "Master are you okay." "Gir do I look like I am okay. Now GET WHAT EVER THIS IS OFF OF ME. Ow" Zim winced. What ever this was it wasn't small. Gir looked at the griffin once more and walked over to her head and proceeded to try and wake her up. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Kay this is where this chapter decided to end. Hey tell me if you like it. R&R if yah will. It will only take 2 reviews for me to continue this. Did yah know Nick has canceled Invader Zim? Go to Gir.n3.net and sign the petition to bring it back. Or go there and sign the petition to have it shown on TNN. Either way just go there. It's an awesome site. Thanx. 


	2. Zim gets a headache and Myst goes crazy.

Disclaimer: I dun own Invader Zim, nor do I own Subreality Central. All I own is The Hammerspace Happenens Bar And Grill, my muse Griff The Griffin Muse Of Really Really Really Stupid Things To Do And Say (and yes that is her full title. Though every body calls her Griff. It's a lot easer to say.), and all of my other characters. Also the sketti are a large draconic dog like creatures. They can vary in size, weight, and appearance. Announcement: right now I feel very very sorry for Zim. Now he has Griff and has to call the almighty tallest, red and purple. Oh how much trouble is Griff going to cause. What ever will Myst do? Will the SCPD ever find out? Will she get barbecued by the head muse? How long will Myst survive without her beloved muse? How long will her alter egos stand her annoying voice? All this and more in the next installment of The Griffin Files. ~*~*~*~*~*~ The Griffin Files Chapter 2: Zim gets a headache and Myst goes crazy. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Gir was trying to wake up the Griffin. All of a sudden it groaned. "Oh god, who got the license plate number of that Semi that hit me." Gir watched as the large creature shook its feathered head. A few white feathers dislodged from her head. She all of a sudden looked straight at Gir and turned her head so she could study Gir with one of her huge blue gray eyes. Gir looked into the creature's eye. "Can you please get off of my master?" Griff stood up and looked down at the floor. A weird looking green creature was lying there. "MY SPINE" Was all the little green creature said. Griff reached down and plucked up the green creature and shook it out like a towel. Zim became his usual self. Griff set Zim down and proceeded to brush him off all the while apologizing to him. "Oh I'm so sorry Mr. Green man. I hope you're not hurt to bad." Zim's eyes snapped open and he spun around to face Griff. "What type of worm baby are you?" Griff's ears flattened down to her head, as did all of her feathers on her head. She gave Zim a look that could burn through steel, and reinforced concrete. "What do you mean by worm baby? You little slimy green toad." Zim looked up at the extremely pissed off griffin. Now this wasn't good. Especially since the creature had four sets of knifes on its feet and a large meat hook in the center of its face. Zim wondered to himself how much damage the creature could do to him if it decided to attack. Zim just shook his head and dismissed what he had been thinking about before. "Like I said before Worm baby. What type of Worm baby are you?" Griff stood up to her full height of about nine and a half feet tall her eyes turned completely black as she stared down her beak at Zim. All of a sudden Griff lowered her head down to Zim's level and stared him straight in the eye. "Lets get some things straight little green man. Number one," Griff poked Zim in the chest with one of her fore talons as she said this, "I am not a worm baby and I shall never be one. Number two," She pokes Zim again, "I am a griffin. Number three," pokes Zim again, "My name is Griff The Griffin Muse Of Really Really Really Stupid Things To Do And Say. Number four; you shall only call me Griff. Call me any thing else then your whole race shall be destroyed. Number five, where the hell am I." She pokes Zim once more in the chest and then sits up. Zim blinks as he rubs his chest where Griff poked him. This needs to be reported to the Almighty Tallest as soon as possible. "Gir come here now." Gir comes running up and salutes in his normal comical style. "Gir I think your favorite TV show is on." Gir all of a sudden spins around and screams as he runs off. "OH THE SCARY MONKEY SHOW!!!!!" Griff's ear tufts snapped up and she looked at Zim. "Excuse me do you have a TV here." Zim nodded. Griff gave Zim a huge Gryphonic grin. She then spun around and followed Gir up the shoot and into the living room. "TTTVVVVVVVVVVVV!!!!" Zim blinked. Now maybe he could call the Almighty Tallest and tell them of this new matter at hand. ~Hammerspace Happenens~ Myst finally snapped out of her shock when one of her alter egos poured a whole beer keg full of ice water on her. Her reaction to feeling ice sliding down her body and down her back was to scream, and scream she did. Her scream was so high pitched that a crystal vase nearby shattered. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED." Trio looked over at his writer and wondered why she was screaming her head off. She had once told him that she wished that she could get rid of Griff. He shrugged his shoulders, and muttered to him self. "What the heck. Might as well go get her one." Trio stood up on his hind legs and strode off toward the fourth level of the basement also known as the cellars. That was where they stored all the beer and malts after brewing. He stopped on basement level 1 and listened. He heard the other sketti in the bakery yelling at each other over the sounds off all the machines being used. Over all of that Trio could still hear Myst yelling at the top of he lungs at all of the others. He let out a small chuckle at their expense. At least he wasn't up there. Shrugging his shoulders once again he started to stride off again. This time toward the service elevator that would take him down one floor to basement level 2. Myst at this time was talking in tongues and no one could even understand what she was saying. Myst was just screaming and yelling about what the hell had happened and that she was going to be turned into a giant barbecued sishkabob by the head muse Calliope At this point the barkeep looked up from the taps and shrugged his shoulders. "Oi Myst yah wanna get rid o er. Well naw she gon. No need ta worry none," the barkeep said in his slurred rustic speech Myst looked at the barkeep and shook her head. "Naw it's not that Speedy. It's just that do you know the penalty for losing your muse." The oddly named barkeep, Speedy, shook his head no. "Well first off all of the SCPD Detectives will be snooping around the bar. They will see that I dun have a permit for the Bar or Casino. They will then also notice that we have no age limit in the casino or on the bar. Then they will put me out of business. You guys will loose your very very very large entertainment system. Including the PS2. Then I will get kicked out of Subreality for my muse suddenly disappearing." Speedy nodded, " Yep, an dis concerns me why?" Myst snarled at Speedy and answered him, "Can yah say NO MORE BEER!!!!" After Myst told Speedy that he screamed. Back in the basement Trio had finally gotten to the fourth floor. After a little, okay, AFTER a LONG stop in the Brewery and Winery. He was testing the new batch of Oktober Ale. Wonder if her anger has blown over yet. Trio shrugged, Oh well. Trio walked all the way down to the end of the room. The beverage he was looking for was made for people with really really really bad headaches. Trio looked at the large keg of succulent dark wine. Damn this stuff was fit for a king. That was if he could drink it. There was only one down side to the wine. It tended to knock out anyone, who wasn't a sketti that drank it. Trio lick his lips and started to lift down the oaken barrel one the end of it was the name of the wine and the date it was brewed. "Black Stoner Wine and this is one of the oldest barrels down here." Trio wiped off the thick layer of dust that was covering the date on it. "1935, damn this is like ancient. Lessee this means that this barrel was brewed during the Depression 1935." Trio let out a low whistle. Might as well get this up there. He picked up the wine barrel and hefted it onto his shoulder, and carried it back up stairs. ~Zim's House, Earth~ Griff and Gir are staring blankly at the screen. Gir is compleatly absorbed by the monkey on the television. Where as Griff looks like she is starting to get bored. She looks over her shoulder at Gir and blinks. That little robot is compleatly absorbed by this stupid TV show. Griff turned back to the TV. The monkey growled at the camera. Griff looked back at Gir. "Gir how can you stand to watch this wretched show. That damn monkey dun do anything." Gir kept staring at the screen like he hadn't even noticed Griff. Griff waved her talon in front of Gir's eyes. "Move out of the way." Gir yelled at Griff, and Griff blinked. Gir had finally said something. "Hey Gir I'm gonna go down their into the lab a bug the little green toad." Griff stood up and folded her wings up as tight to her body as possible so she could fit into the garbage can shoot. Sometimes Griff liked being able to control her size by magic. When she had first gotten here she had been about nine feet tall and with a wingspan of about thirty feet. This was going to be so much fun. At that time Zim had finally gotten a hold the Almighty Tallest Red and Purple. "Almighty Tallest this is the Irken invader Zim making a special report." Zim said and he made a snappy salute. On the screen Red was looking at Zim in complete disgust, and Purple was slurping on a drink. "Ummm..." Was all that Red could think of saying at that time? They had long ago thought that Zim had given up or had gotten killed. Or at least they hoped. A loud slurping noise came from Purple. "Um, Almighty Tallest may I now make my report?" Red blinked and then waved his hand at Zim. "Yes go on ahead." Zim nodded at this and started to make his report, but by this time Griff had already been down there and had listened to the conversation. Oddly enough she was lying right behind Zim and in full view of Red and Purple, but amazingly no one seamed to take notice only because Griff had decided to shield her self from their view by magic. Right at that moment she was trying to place these two's faces. She had seen them once before. Oh well I just might as well forget it she thought. Griff stood up and released her mage shields. Red and Purple where watching Zim with little interest until a large creature appeared behind Zim and started to walk forward. Red started to franticly type up a description of the creature into their computer. Purple was fully occupied at this time trying to get the last little bit of his drink out of the cup. He looked up just and Red found the species data of the creature. Purple screamed, "GGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..." Zim covered his ears, or what ever he used to hear with. Griff pined her ear tufts against her head and glared at Purple. Gir in the mean time was watching another episode of the Scary Monkey Show. "IT'S ONE OF THEM. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..." Purple continued to scream and Red was forced to hit him upside the head with a 2x4. Red looked down at Purple who he had knocked senseless with the 2x4. "Zim how long has That Griffin been there." Zim looked behind him and sure enough Griff was standing right behind him. Zim looked down at his watch. "Oh I'd say about 5 minutes. Why?" Red looked at Zim like he was a total idiot. "In your species data base type in this G-R-I-F-F-I-N and then read what comes up." Zim typed griffin in and all of a sudden a picture of a creature that looked a lot like Griff stared back at him. On the screen it said this. Species: Griffin Type: Mythic Subtype: Flying/Ground Height: Anywhere from between 6 inches to about 90 feet tall Wing Span: Depends on height. Usually from between 2 feet to 250 feet from tip to tip. Weight: Between 1 lb. to 3 tons. Weapons: Its claws are its most useful weapon, but don't forget the beak either. The Griffin can also use hand held weapons. Those can vary greatly. They have been known to use anything from old style stone and thong bolas to laser guns and other high tech things. Planet of Origin: There are over 17 planets on which the Griffin has originated. Now only 2 of those original planets remain. You can tell the difference between the planets of origin by looking at the tail. If the tail has long feathers on it then they hail from Skybow. If the tail lacks feathers and has a tuft of hair at the end then they hail from Dornar. Skybow: The griffin the hail from Skybow are known to have short tempers. The Irkens once tried to invade their homeland but they where drove off bay a large black griffin and a very large army of other strange looking creatures and Griffins. Few of the Griffins from Skybow ever become Scholars they are more interested in working with the sketti on their farm. Dornar: These griffins are level headed and even tempered. They rarely get angry but when they do watch out. They despise fighting and would much rather have their beaks stuck in books then anything else. These griffins have never bothered the Irkens, nor have the Irkens bothered them End of data Zim looked back at Griff and then back at the read out. Zim blinked and then screamed. "GGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAH HHHHHHH, HOW DID YOU GET HERE WORM BABY?" Griff looked at Zim. Her ear tufts where flattened to her head. "Kay little Green Man. Listen up. Remember back when you first told me that." Zim nodded. "Well remember what I told you." Zim nodded. "My name is Griff. Call me that and you won't get hurt." Zim nodded and then asked her a small question. "Umm... Griff how did you get to this doomed planet?" Griffin shrugged, "All I remember is flying around the Hammerspace Happenens Bar and Grill, and all of a sudden I ended up here. Anyway that's what I came down to ask you, how the hell did I get here." Zim shrugged all he remembered was that Gir had pushed a button and all of a sudden she landed on him. "I dun know." Griff gave Zim a wide grin, "Looks like I'm staying until you find a what for me to leave. Got it." Zim looked at her and screamed. "OH NNNNOOOOOOO NOT THAT. I CAN'T HANDLE THAT." Red and Purple looked at each other. This was weird. They remembered when the Irkens had tried to invade Skybow. That large black Griffin had killed one of the Almighty Tallest, his name had been Green, and one of the other odd looking creatures had tore the other Almighty Tallest, his name had been Yellow, to shreds. Red and Purple at that time had become the Almighty Tallest and had wisely never tried to invade that planet again. ~Hammerspace Happenens~ Myst was passes out much to every body's liking and now Trio was downing the rest of a barrel of old dark Elderberry Wine. Speedy was serving free drinks and all of the others where placing bets on when Myst would wake up. Trio smiled; finally this place was quite no annoying muse chattering his head off about nothing. "Wonder where she's at." Trio muttered into his large 5-gallon tankard. He took a long draw at the potent drink, and then looked back down at Myst. Trio muttered once again "Now's a better time then ever." He stood up and walked over to the stage where many different instrument where laying about or on their stands. He grabbed a hold of the mic and gave a sharp whistle into it. Every body in the whole establishment stopped what they where doing and looked at him. Trio cleared his thought. "WHO WANT'S TO PAR-TAY.'' The whole place erupted with sound Trio let out a loud whoop and tossed the mic at one of the other sketti who was leaping up onto the stage. Soon they each stood there with their respective instrument and Trio struck his drumsticks together. "ONE. TWO. THREE. FOUR." The band started to play Blink 182's Rock Show. The whole bar was screaming and yelling. (Try to imagine a punk rock concert. people doing stage dives, head banging, and jumping up and down.) Trio and the Gang were just loving this. They didn't care about what was going to happen when Myst woke up. All they worried about right now was partying, and having an awesome time. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ In the next Episode. Trio and the gang are partying and Myst is knocked out. We found out why Griff hates Zim and why we never hear anything about the Almighty Tallest who came before Red and Purple. Will Zim ever get Griff back home? Will Myst ever wake up? How long will Trio and the Gang party? Where the hell is Gir? All this and much more on the next installment of The Griffin Files. 


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